Desperate
by killmehshining
Summary: Roy gets very very desperate... so desperate he'll date ANYONE! a little OOC at times... rated T for later chapters
1. Prologue

Title: Desperate   
Rating: T (PG-13) in case Roy says something later…  
Description: Roy becomes so desperate he says "I'd go out with anyone!" So…he does.  
Other Notes: Each chapter is how Roy would do with another character in the series. And I'm sorry if anyone seems a little OOC here. I try my best, k?

* * *

Roy sighed. It had been almost a week and that girl hadn't called him back. What was her name again? Whatever. He was about to leave when he heard a familiar voice behind him.   
"Hey! Mustang! How ya doing?" Hughes called. _ Maes…Always so energetic and cheerful, how does he do it! _ Roy sighed again as his friend took a seat next to him.   
"Whatsa matter?"   
"Nothing, Maes…"   
"OK! THEN IN THAT CASE YOU WON'T MIND LOOKING AT THE LATEST PHOTOS I GOT!" Maes exclaimed as he held up what seemed like a million and one photos at once, shoving them all in Roy's face. He frowned as one fell in his drink.   
"Look! She got some new outfits on Saturday, aren't they just precious?"   
"Uh… sure." Roy replied, a little distracted.   
"Alright, something's wrong with you and you're going to tell me what it is!" said Maes, determined.   
"My date cancelled on me is all."   
"That's IT? That's all?"   
"Well…yeah."   
"Didn't I tell you a while ago to find yourself a good wife? You know you wouldn't have this problem." Roy sighed yet again.   
"I know that, Maes. The problem is that every girl I go out with just doesn't seem like someone I want to spend the rest of my life with."   
"Aww… you'll find someone, I know it!"   
"I know… I just get so lonely at times… I mean, I'd date ** anyone ** at this point!"

* * *

Well? How was it? The first actual chapter will be up soon, I promise! 


	2. Roy x Ed?

Title: Desperate  
Chapter: 1  
Description: Ed and Roy squishiness! But Ed is NOT gay. lol.  
Other Notes: OOC Roy! I couldn't resist -evil grin- I didn't know who to start with, but the most popular Roy couple is ed/Roy so I figured I'd give it a shot.   
Disclaimer (done by Ed and Roy):  
Ed: Kori-chan owns none of us!  
Roy: Yeah! If she did, I would be fuhrer!  
Ed: Yeah, but I'D be tied up in her closet.  
Roy: But she would love you!   
Ed: -.-;;

* * *

Ed cautiously poked his head into the office of Colonel Roy Mustang. He was hesitant, seeing as he wasn't in the mood for another assignment today.   
"What do you want, Mustang?"   
"That's no way to greet your superior officer!"   
"Cut the crap, Mustang!" Ed was starting to lose his temper. "What do you want?"   
"You, Edo-kun!"   
"Wha--" Ed shot him a confused stare before getting glomped and pinned to the ground.   
"Ed, I've loved you for so long!"   
"WHAT THE HELL MUSTANG GET OFF ME!" Ed tried (unsuccessfully) to break free of Roy's grip.   
"Ed, you know I love you. You know I've always loved you."   
"PERVER--" But Ed was cut off as Roy leaned in and kissed Ed, as Ed made a fuss and tried to break free. Finally Roy had broken the kiss and Ed started screaming once more.   
"EW YOU GAY PERVERTED FREAK I LIKE ** GIRLS ** ! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" After that, Ed somehow managed to escape the colonel's grasp and ran to the door. He shot one last look at Roy before bolting out the door.   
_ You're right, it wouldn't have worked out. _ Roy thought to himself as he watched the young blonde leave his office. He pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket and scratched off Ed's name.

* * *

What do you think? You know I love reviews! 


	3. Roy x Winry?

Title: Desperate

Rating: still T (PG-13) in case.

Description: Roy finds someone else on his list...

Other Notes: Roy and Winry. Never saw that coming... well, she's blonde and can really kick ass! They're perfect! -wink wink-

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The streets of Central weren't too crowded during the work day, which made it pretty nice. Roy had decided to take the rest of the day off, seeing as how Riza had called in sick and no one else was brave enough to bring him paperwork. He decided to stop for coffee at a local café when he saw a familiar face sitting outside it.

"Miss Rockbell?" He said, almost forgetting the name. She turned around, only to be greeted by a face she recognized faintly.

"Yes…Colonel Mustang isn't it?" He nodded.

"It's been a while, Winry." _It's Winry, isn't it? _He hoped for his sake his memory served him well.

"Yes sir it has."

"Please, I'm off work today. Call me Roy outside the office."

"Okay." There was a long pause in the conversation; neither of them knew what to say.

"Do you…wanna sit down?" Winry asked hesitantly.

"Uh… sure," Said Roy, taking a seat next to her, "So what's new?"

"Nothing much."

"What brings you to Central? Did Fullmetal break his arm again?"

"WELL I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT!" Winry started to think of hitting Ed yet again. This outburst made the colonel a bit scared.

"Uh… sorry."

"No, no I'm sorry. Anyway I'm here on vacation. I'll get Ed to take me shopping later. Central has such a wonderful selection of stuff! I think it's just so amazing."

"Well… I'll take you shopping, Winry."

"Umm… ok." Winry finished her coffee and they headed off to the shopping district.

--- -**X**- ---  
_.later, in the shopping district._

Roy was carrying what seemed like a million boxes and bags of 'souvenirs' and 'oh but I need it for work!' And all Winry did was make the pile bigger.

"AND THIS! AND THAT! AND OH ROY LOOK AT THAT! OH CAN I GET IT? PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!"

"Yeah, of course Winry, anything."

"Oh thank you so much Roy! I owe you so big for this!" They moved from store to store, buying anything and everything Winry wanted.

"Hey Roy, why are you being so nice to me today?"

"I dunno Winry. I guess… Uh… Something about you. You're just cool. Ya know?"

"No…I don't think I really do. But…thanks. For everything." Winry smiled. Roy thought it was beautiful.

"We should hang out again sometime, Winry." Roy said hesitantly.

"Colonel, thank you for all the gifts and things, but…"

"What?"

"Well I'm a little young for you…"

"And how old are you?"

"Sir I'm 15."

"Ah. Hm. Well. See you around I guess!" Roy walked Winry back to her hotel and dropped her things in her room. They both said goodbye and he left, scribbling her name off his list as he did so.

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well what do y'all think? I'll try to update whenever possible, but with homework during the week its kinda hard. I'll do my best. nn


	4. Identity Theft, slight Roy x Ed

**Title**: _Desperate_

**Chapter**: 3

**Description**: Well you didn't think _he_ was gonna pay, did you?

**Other Notes**: not an actual chapter! n.n GOMEN! But this had to be there. And OMG it feels like I caut and pasted some stuff together for this one. -sigh-

**Disclaimer** (done by Winry and Ed):

Winry: Kori-chan does not own the show _Fullmetal Alchemist, _though she greatly desires _the_ Fullmetal Alchemist.

Ed: -sigh-

Winry: Well it's true.

Ed: I know. But still. I'M NOBODY'S PROPERTY!

Winry: Ed, just read your lines. -holds up wrench-

Ed: -gulp- yes ma'am. Ready steady go, on with the show!

Winry: THAT'S NOT YOUR LINE! -chases Ed with wrench-

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Ed burst into Roy's office ranting about something or another, it's not as though Roy cared.

"What do you want, Fullmetal? I'm not in the mood today."

"What is **THIS**?" Ed shoved a thick stack of receipts into Roy's face.

"It would appear you went on a long and expensive shopping trip." Roy replied coolly, without shifting his gaze from his paperwork. (wow, that's gotta be a first…)

"I WAS IN HEISSGART THURSDAY!"

"…And?"

"AND? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY AND? I DIDN'T SPEND FOUR HUNDRED **THOUSDAND **DOLLARS, I CAN'T AND WONT PAY IT!"

"Wow Ed. I had no idea your budget was shorter than you."

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK EM ON YOUR HEAD!" With that, Ed lunged at Roy, pinning him to the ground in a rather embarrassing position if someone were to walk in.

"My, Fullmetal, I thought you didn't like me." Roy smirked. Ed shot off the ground.

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT! YOU PERVERTED JERK!"

"Shrimp"

"Asshole"

"Shorty"

"Dickhead"

"Midget"

"Fuckface"

"Dwarf"

"UGH! YOU ARE SUCH A JERK!" Ed, having run out of responses, bolted out of the colonel's office just as fast as he ran into it.

"AND I AM **NOT **PAYING FOR THOSE!" He shouted over his shoulder. Roy sighed and returned to his work.


	5. Roy x Havoc?

**Title**: _Desperate_

**Chapter**: 4

**Description**: More of a _lets-be-on-a-date _rather than a _lets-go-on-a-date_… cuz I didn't feel like writing another one of those. And also script form.

**Other Notes**: thanks to don'tbreakme for the idea of the last chapter. n.n but Elicia…no that's just… WRONG. Then again, who knows who'll be next? But I think the youngest I was willing to go was 15 for Ed and Winry.

**Disclaimer** (done by Homer Simpson!):

Homer: What? Why am I here? I WAS PROMISED DOUGHNUTS!

Me: (offscreen) -throws doughnut-

Homer: OOOH! -drools- doooooouuuuuuughhhhnuts…

Me: -sigh- I own nothing of this. Apparently Homer doesn't own a brain. And I don't own the _Simpsons_ either. I think that's Fox, I could be wrong.

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_.it was a nice evening, so Roy and Havoc decided to go for a walk._

Havoc: -takes out cigarette- Hey Colonel can I have a light?

Roy: Ok whatever. -snap-

Havoc: Thanks!

_.twenty minutes later._

Havoc: -takes out cigarette- Um hey Roy can I have a light again?

Roy: -sigh- Sure. -snap-

Havoc: Yeah thanks Roy.

_.twenty minutes later._

Havoc: -takes out cigarette- Roy look sorry to bother you again but--

Roy: Yes, Havoc. -snap-

Havoc: Thanks again!

_.twenty minutes later._

Havoc: -takes out cigarette- Look Sir I'm reeeally sorry 'bout botherin you again but do you think maybe--

Roy: Why yes Havoc, of course you can have a light. -snap- -burns Havoc's pack of cigarettes to a crisp-

Havoc: Hey!

Roy: -sigh- I'll see to it you don't get a promotion. You're too obnoxious. -walks away-


End file.
